Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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