Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
