I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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