I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
