So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
