Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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