Sry I called you an 8
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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