dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
