i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
