Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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