I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
