I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
