Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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