fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
