So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
