I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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