If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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