can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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