You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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