what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
