I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
