no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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