fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
do nipples grow back?
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