Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
