I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just invented taco cereal.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
