That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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