So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
