When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have feelings that need drinking.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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