I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
