We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
