No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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