id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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