when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
