I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
