I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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