I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
