No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
