I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
