I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
