Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
