you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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