I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
