...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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