I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
