garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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