You can't special order awesome
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
