Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
