i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
