"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish my penis had a tongue
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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