it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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