It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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