Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
